On August 3rd, 2022 I began to document my experience with Monkeypox. According to the CDC there is about a one to two week incubation period (3-17 days) where those infected have no symptoms, and are not contagious. If this is accurate, technically my date of infection, unbeknownst to me, was around July 18th, 2022. You can watch/hear a visual explanation of this experience on my podcast, “The Real,For Real” via Youtube, Apple or Spotify podcast.
It’s been almost a year since I last published an article, and two years since I chose to switch from updating my website to only using social media to promote positivity in media. So believe me, writing about my MonkeyPox experience, is not exactly the way I thought I’d return, but alas, I put the need of the people above my own possible scrutiny.
Today is September 5th, 2022 over a month after my first symptoms began, and about a week after practically full recovery. I could’ve spoken about this, or decided to write about my experience weeks ago, but it took a while for me to convince myself to share my privacy, something I didn’t have to do, but felt obligated to do. I hope you read this with that in mind and continue with compassion.
For those of you who just came to see the photos, may I suggest therapy? I mean, I have understanding for it, but it’s kind of sickening don’t you think? Ol’ nosey heifers!
I start my journey, August 1st, 2022. I woke with a fever, which I brushed off as a slight cold, or early stages of an allergy attack due to the recent weather changes. I’d become obsessed with stuffing my freshly washed, and moisturized hair into a bonnet revealing my long luscious locs of lubricated hair after the damp left, encapsulated inside the apparent silk greenhouse that as a Black Man I was sentiently unaware of. Yes, I woke with a fever, but my hair? My hair looked like a retouched Pantene commercial using what I can only describe as the Black Woman’s secret to soft juicy curls, a method that I believed made me feverish. Because of this, and against my better judgement, I went to bed with a wet head, the air on, and the ceiling fan running, so of course the fever had to’ve come from that… right? Wrong.
August 2nd, 2022 I woke again with a fever, again brushing it off as beauty is pain. The fever would come and go without taking medication, so I had no reason to believe anything else. On this day my Mother and I committed to our pre-planned sleep over. Yes, I have sleep overs with my Mother. Her birthday is on August 3rd, so we decided to hobnob over pasta with a homemade San Marzano meat sauce, and a moist, fluffy lemon cake with a cream cheese lemon frosting all made from scratch, all made by me “Up In My Kitchen”. On this day, while my Mother was here, I noticed i’d become delirious, which was new for me. It was so new, that I was only able to describe it after reading about Monkeypox and discovering that the mental cloudiness I was feeling and couldn’t describe was in fact, delirium. And still, all I could pin this to, at the time, was my insane hair routine, which I assumed was causing this, but never stopped. How vain.
But seriously my hair was sickening! And considering this was Monkeypox, and not damp hair sickness, guess who went back to the bonnet method?
August 3rd, 2022 I woke again with a fever, but this time a stronger fever that inspired me to finally take a few Tylenol pills. I woke to my usual routine of a good old fashion morning poop and piss, and it was there where I noticed something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t what I thought it was. And then it hit me. The ingrown hair that I brushed off the morning before was not an ingrown hair, which I frequently get on my inner thighs, but it was in fact, a lesion. It was Monkeypox!
And right there, pooping, I had a come to Jesus moment, not to mention it was the morning of my Mother’s birthday, and she was asleep in my home. I had to tell her, I had to protect her, but I felt horrible that after discussing at length how the recent pictures, propaganda and stories about Monkeypox made her stomach hurt, I had to tell her, on her birthday that I, her son, had that very thing she recently verbalized fear about. What a wonderful present right?
After releasing those demons I flushed the toilet, and instantly disinfected everything in the bathroom. I took a deep breath, and walked into my bedroom where my Mom sat awoke. I sat on my bed and said; “Mom, It’s your choice to stay or go, but I believe I have the Monkeypox, I’m almost 100 percent sure, and I hope you don’t have it, but I found multiple lesions on my inner thighs in the bathroom just now.” Motherly, she didn’t believe me, and decided that she wouldn’t leave because she loved me, and I’d need help if I got sicker. While I appreciated that, and yes, my Mother is better than yours, I would not recommend this. Spreading this virus is not apropos, and you are not noble using illogical love as a method of decision making. Nope! Make like Jordan, and Peele your behind off the possibly infected high horse, and “Get Out.”
My Mom chose to stay, and thank God she was never infected, but this gamble is unnecessary.
As the day progressed so did my sickness. There was an incessant thumping deep inside my right-inner thigh where a lesion had formed, I grew fatigued, feverish, and had eye, and body aches. It was then that I started to document the experience recollecting the days before and making note of it. I got up, went to the bathroom, and took the first photo. Jarring, I knew what this was, I knew I was contagious, and I knew I had to inform clients, cancel a few things, and that my life, at least for the next few weeks, would be completely different. I was nervous, but unafraid.
Ironically, a few days before I’d called a Dekalb County health center to get the Monkeypox vaccine and was met with a voice machine. I also created a post to help stop the spread of misinformation and propaganda about Monkeypox, both before realizing I had it. Chile…
About 2am August 4th, 2022 as I was preparing to finally go to bed from August 3rd’s at home dinner and a movie with Mom, an intense fever began. Without medication, around 2:30am the fever, delirium, aches, and slight pain all went away. In my notes I described the feeling as odd, but as I type this, I can barely remember what it felt like. I was finally able to go to sleep and after a full 8 hours of sleep I woke without a fever, and no aches, except the throbbing pain from a lesion on my inner thigh. My Mother and I disinfected everything and she kept her distance, but after my morning routine, I noticed something that sparked me to insist my Mother leave at once! She didn’t, but I noticed a small lesion on my inner left ring finger. Up until that point I was sort of okay with my Mother being with me because of the lesions being localized to my inner thighs only, but that was no longer the case. Also, let’s take a moment to thank God for blessing me with a home with two bathrooms which helped me not spread the virus to my Mom.
When I noticed this bump I immediately washed my hands and put on gloves. Even though I felt fine, I noticed after I showered, I could barely stand. I experienced body shakes and a flare up of my asthma doing basic household lifts. It was like my energy would be zapped doing anything. My Mother didn’t leave right away, but she promised she’d leave the next day, and since my fever wasn’t as strong and I was on a four to six hour Tylenol fix, we had one last night of enjoying each other’s company over food, conversation, and laughter, but then, like clock work, that fever kicked in pushing pass the Tylenol around 1am. Delirium returned, body pain, aches, chills, this time runny nose, and eyes. I felt like the fever could last forever, but a pattern formed. Much like the day before, not before long the fever disappeared and I was able to sleep.
I should note, I carefully washed my inner thighs when showering not to leave the soap (Dove original) on too long, or to scrub hard if at all in that area. This procedure lasted the entirety of my Monkeypox experience. I felt this was best as I didn’t want to touch, mess with, or disturb the unknown process of this.
August 5th, 2022, like clock work, the fever and symptoms returned. Even though I woke without a fever, I felt like garbage! I had some relief knowing my Mother would be leaving, but felt defeated about a lesion growing on my ring finger. In an effort to get ahead of my life, I called a client of mine, Darien, and told him I had Monkeypox and the job he paid me for would be pushed back, but somehow I’d deliver him the product photography images by the end of the week. Even though I had to call several clients and push back due dates, I couldn’t with Darien because I needed the rest of the promised money, so I had to do what I had to do.
Darien did something that I never really experienced before, he, without me asking, helped me. Darien, with great enthusiasm and without hesitation said; “oh my God, how can I help you? I’m near the store right now you need anything? Water, food? Anything?”. Typical Tahir would’ve said no, but I quickly remembered something my Uncle Lenny said to me once; “if someone offers YOU money, you take it.” While I wouldn’t use that ideology with just anyone, or without context, my Uncle knows me, so he knew that if someone was offering me money, the evil that comes with the assumption of that statement wouldn’t be present and that I should stop refusing help when help is there, so, I didn’t refuse Darien, I accepted his help. I asked for water and more Tylenol as I was unable to leave my house, and Darien bought it, and brought it to me with hast. God bless him.
It was on this day that I received a call from Dekalb Epidemiology center. The call was from when I called about a vaccine! Ironic, I know. I was excited to finally speak to someone because I felt alone, without much information, but the information she provided to me made me feel at ease. She was great on the phone! She made me feel like it was okay. At first she calmed me by saying; “it could be anything”, but after explaining to her the symptoms and lesions, she, with confidence said, this was in fact, Monkeypox, but that she couldn’t do much because of the county I lived in. I called Dekalb, because my Mother lives in that county, but I stay in Fulton. There was no information about Fulton County Monkeypox protocol and Dekalb was the only one at the time promoting vaccines. Once I informed her of this she was able to put me in contact with someone from my county.
They both diagnosed me and told me to isolate myself. The Fulton County epidemiologist suggested I go get tested, but after explaining a test would only confirm and i’d have to be around hundreds of others standing in a line out the door considering how many people had been calling in trying to get tested and vaccinated she and I thought the best thing to do would be to isolate. She reached out to the state to get more information about me traveling there as I was scared to pass it to a Lyft driver or Public transportation worker. She was told that as long as I did not have a fever I would only be contagious if someone actually touches a lesion. She said it would be safe to travel, but isolation was best, and to continue taking photos of the progress. I chose not to visit the center for a medical diagnosis because I did not want to pass it to anyone considering a slight fever occurred, but I felt seen, and heard, and somehow that provided relief.
I know you’re probably wondering why I haven’t spoken about the lesions yet, and it’s because during this first week, other than throbbing I barely felt any pain or had any issues.
August 6th, 2022 I woke with no fever, my lesions grew smaller and started to crust, but exhaustion kicked in from basic house hold tasks. A slight fever occurred once I got in bed that night, but not like the others and not at 1am. Today was the first day my lesions actually caused me a problem. For whatever reason, they started to itch! I assumed the healing had begun and that was causing the itching, not to mention the exposed new skin that was evident. Fearful, I didn’t scratch or touch them, but I showered, and dried them using what became my fifth towel for the week as I was using towels and cloths and instantly washing them in the Lysol, Tide and Bleach mixture that kept me sane. After my shower the itching became too much that the only thing I could think to do to not feed the lesions was use my all natural unrefined cold pressed JoJoba oil, which I use for my hair and skin. I remembered it had anti inflammatory properties and I figured since it wasn’t chemical, it shouldn’t feed the lesions and some how spread them or make them grow, so with clean hands I oiled them up and slapped them down on the lesions and the itching instantly went away! God is real!
August 7th, 2022 I woke feeling normal, like I did just last week before this virus hit me. I couldn’t believe it. Other than itching, which was now an all day thing, and the pain from walking due to the placement of the lesions, I was…okay. Throughout the day I experienced fatigue, but nothing too major.
August 8th, 2022 I woke without a fever, and my energy seemed to return. I wasn’t at full strength, but I felt better. The lesions were open, exposed pink skin caused itching, and slight pain, but for a moment it was like I forgot it was there. Unfortunately I still wasn’t able to do basic household tasks finding myself winded, tired, or dizzy so I did something I rarely do, I sat down, and decided to get better! “Stop moving Tahir, relax, eat when you must, shower, and back in bed, your body needs rest!” is what I told myself, so I did exactly that.
August 9th, 2022 my worst nightmare came to life. A slightly painful noticeable bump/lesion formed on my left-thumb! I thought I was in the clear! The small lesion that formed on my left hand had fallen off and was virtually invisible as if nothing was ever there, but this one? This one was big, and pressing on my skin like alien trying to get out of the rib cage of its new victim! Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but you get what I mean. The lesions on my thighs were healing well, the heat, and tension in that area went away and the sensitivity felt normal.
Throughout the day I noticed two more small lesions, one on my right lower leg, and one on my right elbow. I felt defeated, as if this would never go away. I thought I was in the clear!
August 10th, 2022 I woke without a fever, and felt 100 percent like myself again. The lesion on my leg was drying up, and so was the one on my elbow. They were very small similar to the one on my left middle finger, so I assumed they’d go away as quick as that one did, and I was correct. But the lesion on my thumb grew bigger, and puss started to fill it. Annoyed, I stopped taking notes of my progress. I felt like since the lesions on my thighs were healing well, i’d monitor my thumb lesion, and try to get my life back in order.
Even though I was healing, and progressing, I found myself still unable to do anything. My energy would be zapped, and the lesions on my thighs would bleed. One night, in an effort to dry them out or stop the moist from my thighs so they could heal better, I placed a dry towel there to sleep. It was the most comfortable I’ve been in weeks! In true Tahir fashion, I forgot why the towel was there when I woke, snatched it off without thinking and SCREAMED in pain as the towel not only kept the area dry, but the crust that had formed over night, was now ripped off. I share this so you won’t make the same mistake. Even though by this time my contagion was less, and I was practically healed, this new skin tear set me back a bit.
By August 12th, 2022 I felt comfortable to order groceries, considering I had nothing in my home due to being scared of passing this to someone, but even still, I wore gloves, full face mask, a hoodie sweater in 90 degree weather with the hood on, sweat pants and a bandaid on my thumb before leaving out to get my Walmart order. The way the driver looked at me! Hilarious! The Epidemiologist I spoke to said by the 15th I should be okay to live normally again, so on the 14th, in celebration of my friends birthday, we went out. I was covered, and cautious, but it felt good to finally get out the house! I discovered itching cream in my first aid kit when I went to get another bandaid, and discovered pads. I thought to myself, this would be perfect to place on the lesions when I leave the house! So I showered, dried off, and did just that. I was so comfortable, and had such relief!
After a short adventure with my friend Christina, I came home, showered, dried off, and thought, well, I want an easy sleep tonight so why don’t I put new pads and fresh itching cream on my lesions to sleep. DO NOT DO THIS! I don’t know why, or what happened, but it felt like my eye brows were on fire! It did not have the same effect it did earlier. I was in pain, there was so much heat radiating from my thighs, the itching increased, and I could do nothing but place a towel there and pat, pat, pat! That did not work! I hopped out of the bed, ran to the shower, grabbed my shower extender and placed ice cold water on the area and finally…relief! My God was I happy! After that terrible moment, I stuck to what I’d been doing, dried off, and placed Jojoba Oil there, and went to sleep having learned a valuable lesson.
By August 20th, 2022 the lesion on my thumb dried up so much I was able to flick it off into the toilet, and what was left was nothing but new skin. The lesions on my thighs were no longer itching and were smaller and smaller.
Today is September 5th, and even though there is still some pink showing on my thighs where the lesions were, they are almost unnoticeable. I wouldn’t exactly call them scars, but I guess they are. August was filled with fear. I was uneasy, I felt like people would judge me, or look at me differently. I didn’t work, I didn’t make any money, and that set me back a bit. All in all though, I am blessed. My case, according to many other cases I’ve read, was mild. I was blessed to not have lesions on my face, or arms, or upper body. I was blessed to not have excruciating pain as many others described. I was blessed to’ve had a place to sleep, food to eat, and friends to finally tell once I felt at ease. I was blessed to have family and friends offer me compassion and get me back to myself again, and for that I am forever grateful.
Monkeypox is not a deadly disease. It only looks ugly. It’s a loud infection that if invisible, most wouldn’t even care too much about it. Every person I told asked if it was on my face. Vanity cages us. I saw a meme that said; “Monkeypox might actually make people quarantine because nobody cares about dying, but they care about being ugly”. Sad to say, I believe this to be true.
Monkeypox is not a gay disease, it is not a sexually transmitted disease. It’s a visible infection that if invisible, most wouldn’t even care too much about it.
This is probably the longest free written article I’ve ever done. If you’ve reached this point, thank you for reading about my journey, I hope this helps you. Below are jarring images of two of the lesions on my body. You may not use these images against me, commercially, or for any other reason other than viewing purposes. I wrote this so we have something to learn from. I hope you’ve learned.
If you would like to donate to help me get back on my feet after a month of not working I’d be completely grateful: $TheBLACKMedia is my Cashapp, simply write, Donation, and send what you can. Bless you!
