5 Reasons Why You Should LEAVE RIGHT AWAY When They Cheat A Respect We Forget About


Women and Men cheat, this we know. Forget the backdoor statistics, forget the blame game, generalizations of who cheats more or less, it does not matter when it comes to your individual experience. Instead, let us de-mystify this persuasive ideology that cheaters/offenders want and need you to believe. This social infraction that is leading many to believe a lie that hinders us from moving forward and finding peace in our lives. This huge misconception of Love and God and Man (Human)! It’s beyond absurd! They, the offenders, want you to believe YOU SHOULD STAY WITH THEM AFTER THEY CHEAT! They will go so far as to create Meme’s, movies, poems, video explanations, Facebook status’s, viral tweets, blame you for not doing x,y, z and more that have you believing YOU’RE THE ONE IN THE WRONG, but Im here to wake yo’ ass up!

Here are 5 Reasons Why You Should LEAVE When They Cheat: 

1. Cheating Is NOT A Mistake:

  • Sorry, but unless there’s some anomaly Im unaware of, you cannot unzip, pull down, lube up, spit, wet up, insert, suck, lick, kiss, pet, spank, grab, moan…you get the point, by “mistake”. Women and Men hear it all the time! “It was a mistake, I’m sorry”. No one on Earth likes a liar, maybe assassins, but other than that, No One Does! So, if your significant other cheated on you and claimed “it was a mistake”, THEY ARE LYING TO YOU! Cheating is diabolical, why? Because when a person cheats, its their way of telling you by showing you, that you are worth-less to them. Not worthless as in the amount of zero, but worth less than they persuaded you to believe before hand. Cheating takes time, planning, sneaking, LIES, on top of LIES, adventure, and lies, oh did I already say that? Sorry but, its not a mistake!
  • For Example It Takes;

Finding: A Woman or a Man must search and find to cheat before they do it! So, while you’re sitting next to Him while watching Scandal and he’s online, or She’s sitting next to you online while you’re watching the game, your mate is or has already searched for his/her cheatee! And for those of you reading this thinking; “but what about….”, oh what about the club, or job lay over, “happenstance”? Its still a decision in finding, or having found someone by that someone introducing themselves to you, or you introducing yourself to them, there is a mental, and physical search that happens in the midst of a relationship of secrets that occur within someone before they even find a person to cheat with. Cheaters search to cheat, this alone is not a damn mistake, how can you mistakenly search, on Craigslist perhaps, and find someone to cheat with?! You can’t, its about decisions…

Deciding: A Woman or a Man must decide to cheat before they do it! Shocking right? So, while you’re cooking Him dinner, or Washing her car your mate is or has already decided to cheat! Every single day, of every single second Human beings choose yes or no, right or left, up or down, we make decisions every single second. While typing this article I’ve decided several times to pick up, stir, drink, and dip this green tea into my red tea cup, re-read this post to make sure it’s right…The point is, we decide every course of action we take, even if there is a gun put to our head, we decide, its powerful, our ability to make decisions. And no, I am by no means comparing some tempting vagina or penis to having a gun put to your head, but many would want you to believe they HAD NO CHOICE in both situations.

When in reality, they do, you do, we do have a choice, and not just one, but many. When it comes to cheating while you are deciding and texting to meet, hop in the shower screaming “baby where’s the soap”, drying off, putting on your “good clothes”, hopping in your car driving and stopped by 12 red lights before getting there, parking the car, opening the door, walking to the cheating destination, meeting your cheatee who probably has no idea you’re cheating, peeling off clothes, kissing, sucking, licking, touching, moaning, inserting, biting, grabbing…you get the point, all of those actions are decisions you’re making, none of which are the decision to STOP and NOT CHEAT. Most of the decisions made are to lie…

Lying: “Baby I’m just gone sleep all day today on my day off you have a good day at work…” meanwhile the cheater is already planning the cheating day. After they’ve done their dirt, and even before they’ve started, they’ve lied. They’ve lied so much that the lies they told are now the foundation of the Lie-House they’ve started to build and each addition is a lie added to complete this house. They’ve lied so much that the house is complete with three floors, four bathrooms, six bedrooms, forty windows, and the furniture is about to be delivered, and when the furniture comes, oh trust me, you’re dealing with someone disgusting because they plan on living in that House Of Lies they’ve just built and relaxing there. Its foul!

  • Cheating is not a mistake, its on purpose, its soooo on purpose that when you truly think about what it takes for someone to cheat, you start to understand why temporary insanity is a thing…

2. Life On Earth Is Too Short:

  • A Cliche I know, but if its true, its true. You mean to tell me that we can walk outside to stretch our arms and greet the day and be hit by a stray bullet, or drive to work the same route everyday for five years and one day crash and die, or eat an apple and digest a bug that eats away at your heart and kills you, or wake up one morning with Cancer after just having a check up at the hospital and the doctors telling you, you’re just fine?! This can happen!? Don’t believe it? Just open up the News Paper, people die every single day and most of the time, ITS NOT PLANNED. This fact, is the reason why we must live life to the fullest and not waste our time on Earth with someone(s) undeserving of our space! You mean to tell me you will stay with a Cheater knowing this?! Knowing that at any minute you could die?! Literally any minute! Without being a pessimist, live life well and never let the actions of someone keep you in something that is holding you from experiencing life! It’s too short, and there are too many fish in the sea to miss one, the cheater is experiencing life having a ball having sex with two or more people L.M.F.A.O.O.O!!! So, why are you staying?! LEAVE!!! Get Out!! Its the end of you and ME! Life is too short…

3. There’s Someone(s) For YOU:

  • It may not seem like it at the time, especially after someone has broken your heart so tremendously by showing you, you mean nothing to them, but there is someone(s) for you. Yes, someone(s), date and date a lot with an understanding that you are dating and that its not yet exclusive with anyone, that way, no one cheats, and it lessens the hurt if one catches feelings. There is someone who is willing and wanting of the same things you want. Trust me! There is someone who is single, who wants another single person to date and be with who’s never cheated and not interested in cheating. Oddly enough, there is someone who has cheated and realized their terrible actions and have decided to be a better human being because of it and now you’re getting a refurbished Human with all of the great qualities as a brand new non-cheater! That’s the beauty of life, they cheat, you leave, and you find someone worthy of you, and you of them, and them for you and you for them. While this may seem fairy-tale-ish, it’s NOT! There are millions of non-cheaters who would never cheat in a million years, you just have to be open to it. You can’t accept everything and expect everything NOT to happen to you, because everything will. Open your heart and ask only for what you want, that way if you do run into a cheater, and you leave, you’ll know its because of what you accept and what you know about who’s out there waiting for you, and who knows, you may even teach the cheater a thing or two…

4. You Will Help Them Grow:

  • Who gives a fuck about them right?! Ha! I wrote a song last year called; “Fuck That” which tells the tale of the real feelings we go through after being done wrong, but the confidence behind the song is that we take back our power when we help others after they’ve wronged us. Now, I don’t mean, helping them pay bills, being a friend to them, hell no! I mean helping them by being that oh so not so hilarious tipper who writes; “stay out of dark alleys” and leaves the table with no cash. Hey, you never know if that tip may’ve helped that waiter or not. But seriously, tip your cheater by LEAVING! Its a huge tip because it lets the cheater know, moving forward, this is what will happen when they cheat! Human minds are each individually created to hold a certain level of stupidity, and its sad to say that those who stay with cheaters, end up getting cheated on again, and again, and again even after the apology and the “make-up”. It’s because we are trained and raised to repeat. If we taste something good, we will get it again, if we used the color red and we liked it, we will use it again, rarely do we change our minds about the things we LIKE. So, teach your cheater a lesson, leave them a tip so that they can grow and learn from their actions and possibly treat the next person better. The way you do this is by leaving, instantaneously when they cheat, you find out, or they tell you. Points to those who tell, but points to you for leaving. Now, let’s be clear, forgiving and going back, is ok, over time. But only after you’ve left, explored, dated, laughed, matured, and found yourself eating dinner with friends excusing yourself from the table to use the bathroom not watching where you are going only to turn and bump into your ex-cheater in a slow-mo effect and they catch you from falling, it can happen!! Just know, you are deserving of better…

5. You Are Deserving Of A Quality Relationship:

  • You! Yes You! You deserve quality! We all do! While quality may be slightly subjective, knowing what you want is not. Once you decide what a Quality Relationship is for you, seek it with your heart, speak it with your mouth, live it with your actions and it will come to you. That, I can promise. If quality for you is an open relationship, seek it. If quality for you is a closed, exclusive relationship, seek it, verbalize it with your partners and lay it all out before the sealed kiss, hug, hand shake, dinner, or “fun time”. You are deserving of someone who wants what you want. The second that changes, is the second you should leave if it does not work for YOU! Would you stay in a Five Star Hotel that promises quality bed sheets but when you get there the sheets are of peeled TerryCloth?! Not only would you leave so fast, you’d probably get your money back. Well, in relationships you may not be able to get your money back, but if you LEAVE you will gain your POWER back, and that is worth more than dollars and cents any day, why? Because YOU ARE DESERVING OF A QUALITY RELATIONSHIP and if you’re not getting it, you absolutely deserve to leave…

All in all you should leave when they cheat because you are deserving of a quality relationship, and you will help your cheater grow, there is someone(s) for you so never feel bogged down by one because life is too short on Earth and cheating is NEVER a mistake. Its about RESPECTING YOURSELF enough to treat yourself how God intended you to be treated...I know some of you are wondering; “but what about if you’re married?”  Even in marriage and till death do us part, for better or for worse shouldn’t keep you there. While divorce may not be on the table maybe leaving to figure yourself out, find yourself and vice versa, would certainly help your marriage vs staying together before you’re ready. You are the boss of your marriage and how it should go, I know many married people who’ve taken time apart and reconnected after “working it out”, but the same does not apply for those who believe in divorce and for those who are not married.

LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! You cannot change a person and change their course of actions and thinking by telling them you love them, or being in a relationship with them. We are who we are when you meet us, which means if you marry or get into a relationship with someone who cheats, its because they have that cheater spirit before you got with them and that doesn’t change automatically just because of “I Do” or “I love You” or “We are going steady” ha! Who says its your job to wait for the other to mature and decide to be with just you? Who says?! You think God wants that?! For you to be unhappy, questioning every move, wondering, feeling yucky when kissing or trying to have sex with your partner lying to yourself hoping it will one day go away? I Don’t…for the reasons above.

– :) Thanks For Reading #SOULdiers

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13 comments Add yours
  1. if you have built a life together, raised kids, acquired things, expressed your love for them on many occasions, been married for many many years, gotten over terrible moments, share so much life with, and other reasons to call it quits, then why not stay? Love ain’t an emotion….. Cheating should not be a deal breaker in the instance.

    Yes, if you have built nothing between you two, and there seems to be nothing in the future between you to build on, then you should leave… You should learn what the factors were for your bad decision and move on with your life…..

  2. Thanks for your comment, I disagree completely, but I do agree with Love not being an emotion, its an action, which is why if the person who you’ve spent your life with building it together cheats he or she is shown you with their actions they no longer love you. Fact. Love is an action its what you do…

  3. Just because some cheats, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. it means for a moment in time, they lusted after someone else. I think that building a life together should be just that, building a life together. if you want to leave after being cheated on, it might mean that you were waiting for this cheating to happen, and used that as an excuse to break up… It might mean that you never loved the other person in the first place… Cheating should not have the kind of value of ending so much life you’ve built…If so, maybe you loved the idea of you not being cheated on more the whole life spent building something. If they are not faithful to a higher being, then they won’t be faithful to you….

  4. Thanks For the reply, and thank you for such a great post…….But……..Just because some cheats, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. it means for a moment in time, they lusted after someone else. I think that building a life together should be just that, building a life together. if you want to leave after being cheated on, it might mean that you were waiting for this cheating to happen, and used that as an excuse to break up… It might mean that you never loved the other person in the first place… Cheating should not have the kind of value of ending so much life you’ve built…If so, maybe you loved the idea of you not being cheated on more the whole life spent building something. If they are not faithful to a higher being, then they won’t be faithful to you….

  5. Absolutely disagree….if someones cheats THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU. Fact. Leaving after you’ve been done wrong does not mean you were waiting to be done wrong, that was the most illogical comment I’ve ever read. While some may need an excuse to leave, being cheated on is not an excuse to leave, its a RIGHT! You say cheating should not have the kind of value of ending so much life you’ve built when what you should be saying is SO MUCH LIFE WE’VE BUILT I VALUE YOU TO NEVER CHEAT…smh this is the kind of garbage i speak about. You sound like a Man who’s cheated and trying to find excuses as to why you cheated. Building something has nothing to do with cheating. You should leave your lover for many reasons and cheating is simply one of them. You’ve just listed a bunch of excuses man…sorry but no…no no no…no

  6. If you take a little more time to think it over, the logic I am part of will be revealed to you too. You should not say anything you spend time with “garbage”…. Ok. the way you think is too predictable.. I just knew you were gonna write that I am a cheater. Cheaters have a whole different kind of logic for everything they do. Cheaters don’t write blogs. Cheaters are too busy cheating I guess…. If you will pardon me, I am a rich woman’s husband and a poor woman’s dream, I am king with out a queen, I proclaim many things, but I have never been unfaithful because I have a kings self esteem. I have actually been the one married to promiscuous women. Twice…. I have never even been with a woman who was faithful to me.. But I have learned a great deal from my errors in judgement. I never hated them. I never even wanted to be vengeful. I told them what they did with someone else, while married to me was between GOD, her and the other guy. I didn’t feel as if i wasn’t doing my job as a husband, as being a reason for the cheating. I still treated them with respect. I still loved them. With the first wife she became a stalker, she feared with every part of her being that i would cheat back on her.I never did. She became so possessive, she even told me to go ahead and cheat. What she did with the other guy led to her becoming crazy and fearful about all things. She packed and left me. Every Time she felt guilt I just laughed. She’s still mad at me….. The second wife was even more of a cheater… I left revenge in GODS hands. But that is a whole other story.. So, I will never have a problem if a woman wants to cheat on me, because she cheats GOD of the promises she made to him. I loved them the way GOD Loves me. So you have it all wrong … I can never be mad at or feel sorry for someone who cant keep there word. But anyway I hear you. Please have a wonderful day… Thank you for sharing. Thank you for letting me share and be a bit of a bragger with you…

  7. if your spouse cheats contact hackerethique@gmail com. he helped mee hack my cheating husband’s phone and that went a long way during the divorce …you can mention that stephanie referred you for a quick response and probably a discount

  8. I was cheated by my ex gf and, of course, I left her right away after I discovered it. The only thing I regret is communicating with her for several months following break up. I should have stopped every contact with her right away. Period. In the meantime I established no contact. I know I did a right thing.

    I agree with the author completely. In every single point. She knew exactly what she was doing. And, if I have forgiven her she would do it again. I am almost healed now and I learned important life lessons.

    I have a question for the author: how could I regain trust in some future women in my life and should I ever trust again? Nowadays people mock emotions and relationships with frequent cheating. At the moment I don’t feel like emotionally investing in any person ever in this life. Even in marriage I would enter like in a sort of business non-emotional arrangment. Thank you for response

  9. I was engaged and in a 4 year relationship. The other woman just showed up at our apt last month.. I waited 1.5 years long distance bc the military took him overseas. he started having an affair before we ever got to rekindle. The other woman thought he dumped me for her (I met her and she was all over him in front of me two weeks before they began a 1.5 year relationship coinciding with our 2 year engagement). Cheating is selfish. However.. despite people like these two who deserve each other.. there are great people out there. I know bc I am one. Hang in there. You will find someone and so will I. You will get over your heart break and so will I.. stay strong. Leaving is the hardest part 🙂

  10. You can regain trust by reminding yourself that each and every last human being on planet Earth is not like the other. Meditate on that. Yes you should trust again, you can’t live without trust. If at the moment you do not wish to emotionally invest, don’t work on you, get you right, change yourself, your thinking, and remain open to love, it’ll find you. It sounds cliche but its the truth. Pray and keep working on getting you right! You are the most important thing in your life! Before anyone and anything. So get you right so you can get another right as well.

  11. Forgive me for the uber late response, My comments section has been broken, I changed it to Disqus and now it’s fixed!

  12. My husband and i got Married last year and we have been living happily for a while. We used to be free with everything and never kept any secret from each other until recently everything changed when he got a new Job in NewYork 2 months ago.He has been avoiding my calls and told me he is working,i got suspicious when i saw a comment of a woman on his Facebook Picture and the way he replied her. I asked my husband about it and he told me that she is co-worker in his organization,We had a big argument and he has not been picking my calls,this went on for long until one day i decided to notify my friend about this and that was how she introduced me to Mr James(Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com) a Private Investigator who helped her when she was having issues with her Husband. I never believed he could do it but until i gave him my husbands Mobile phone number. He proved to me by hacking into my husbands phone. where i found so many evidence and proof in his Text messages, Emails and pictures that my husband has an affairs with another woman.i have sent all the evidence to our lawyer.I just want to thank Mr James for helping me because i have all the evidence against my Husband in court.

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